House of Hawthorne

Wear Your Seat Belt

Posted on: January 29, 2014

Tuesday February 3rd at one a.m. I will be turning myself into the McCracken County Jail for a day because of a Contempt of Court on a Failure to Appear because of a seat belt ticket. The legal fees on this $25 ticket have grown into roughly 500 dollars and this will be my third night in jail. The second night I was in jail because of this ticket I literally kept saying “I feel like I’m taking crazy pills!” No one really caught the Zoolander reference and the jailers would say, “There’s plenty of people in here for seat belt tickets.” Like, why, though? When I moved to Kentucky I was under the impression you wouldn’t even be pulled over for it. Unbridled spirit, right? A seat belt is totally a bridle. And I swear I wear them 999 times out of 1000. 1000 out of 1000 now.

It’s my fault, it’s a series of missed steps on my part. I probably shouldn’t post this lest you all think I’m a hardened criminal now that I’ve moved to Kentucky. And jail isn’t that bad besides the food. Oh yeah, I paid a 20 fee for that today. I’m so sure that piece of cheese I didn’t eat and the for some reason dinosaur-shaped chicken nuggets were worth 20 dollars. Like I kept saying when I was in jail, I just wish I had done something cool.

Legal fund. Seriously, anything would help:


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3 Responses to "Wear Your Seat Belt"

Wait, I’m confused. You spent a night in jail because you didn’t wear your seatbelt?

Pretty much, I mean I messed up and paid a different fine and for some reason forgot about it, in Kentucky they don’t send mail they just issue warrants.

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