House of Hawthorne

Part 1 of My Guide to Watch the Throne: The Cost of the Fancy Things

Posted on: August 14, 2011

I’ve been listening to Watch the Throne straight through. I’m on my sixth full listen as I type this. There’s more material than just one blog post, so this begins at least a three part series in my guide to Watch the Throne. I might get to the point where I review it at some point, but I’m too close to it right now.

What’s all this about Jay-Z and Kanye West being out of touch with the common man? Granted, as Tom Breihan (who I may or may not have went on a blind date once in Baltimore) notes in the Pitchfork review, there’s “multiple namechecks of brands so expensive that you’ve probably never heard of half of them.” Here’s a list of those that I’ve never heard of, and how expensive the items mentioned in Watch the Throne are:

Rolls Royce Corniche (Jay-Z in “No Church in the Wild”): (Now, with all these brands, I’m going to go ahead and assume that Jay-Z or Kanye own the most expensive version) $359,900
Audemars (Jay-Z in “N—– in Paris”): A watch. $780,600
Le Meurice (Jay-Z in “N—– in Paris”): A luxury hotel in Paris. Jay-Z says here that they’re going to stay for 6 days, and the suite that he and Beyonce stayed in cost $20,000 a night. $120,000
Ace (Jay-Z again, same song, what an expensive couple of lines, dude): I guessed this was a champage by context clues. Jay-Z holding a bottle of this is the first image that pops up for Ace champagne, actually. I’m going to quote the magnum price here, because he also mentions spilling it. $686. Actually I’m listening to “Primetime” and he mentions getting two cases of Ace. $8232
Margiela (Kanye, same song): He mentions that this is a jacket. On the Margiela website, the most expensive ladies’ jacket I could find was something I found unappealing and only available in sizes 2 and 4. Assholes. $3220
Hublots (Jay-Z, “Otis”): Another darn watch. $200,000
Rollie (Jay-Z, “Otis”): I know that this is a Rolex watch, but he says he’s got two of these, so I’ll count them. $120,000
G450 (Jay-Z, same song): This I knew to be a plane. Here he mentions using it to seek political asylum. I guess if I was using this to flee the country I would just charter and not buy, but let’s say he’s going on at least a five hour flight, and I’ll add in the cost of his five passports he mentions. $55,000
Basquiones (Kanye, “That’s My B—-“): This actually appears to be a Kanye-ism for Basquiat paintings. Probably the most expensive fancy thing. $13.5 million

Total for items mentioned in Watch the Throne that I haven’t even heard of: $2,996,952

This isn’t even counting the Maybachs on Bachs on Bachs, or Kanye’s Bentley, his other Bentley, or his other other Bentley.

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2 Responses to "Part 1 of My Guide to Watch the Throne: The Cost of the Fancy Things"

If he bought said Basquiones then the total would be more like 16.5 million! right? P.S. I am adding Basquiones to my computers dictionary because it is insulting to Mr. West that there is a squiggly red line underneath it right now. They should auto-update spell check when Kanye releases an album.

yeah, you sure are right about Basquiones, Raychul. I kept thinking about that math after I posted it actually. I hope you use the phrase Basquiones a lot from now on, of course.

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