House of Hawthorne

I Dragged My Friends To That Bar That Nobody Likes

Posted on: June 11, 2011

I guess I just felt like dancing all week. I dance around a lot, as you may know. The bar we always go to, Bobby’s Tap, is okay for dancing, but you have to really try to dance sometimes. It normally involves spending at least a pitcher’s worth of funds on the jukebox, or of course dancing to songs you just straight up normally wouldn’t dance to.

It’s hard to find a good place to dance in this town. I have the love/hate relationship that every proper suburban person has with the city of Chicago. I know it’s way more awesome than the place I live, I just don’t live there. It’s just the way it is. When I go up to the city, I can boogie too, but I’m just so overwhelmed by the sticker shock of the whole experience.

So I suggested to the dismay of my friends that we go to the notorious (to me) Joliet club-like place, Samy’s. I guess suggested doesn’t describe the way I actually approached my friends with this change of venue. “You guys never do anything I want to do!” even though that’s false. Begging, cajoling. I just got it in my head that I was going dancing at this damn bar Friday night.

We all agreed ahead of time that if there’s a cover charge, we’re not walking in the door. You can’t charge a cover in Joliet unless there’s a band that I’m specifically there to see, sorry. It’s just the way it is. Well you can charge a cover, I’m just not coming in. It’s cool, maybe you’re charging a cover to keep riffraff like me out.

Well they weren’t charging a cover, so we got to find out anew why we don’t normally go to this bar. It comes down to the music. You can’t be a deejay in a club and play music that they normally play at weddings. It’s not clever or cute. I don’t need a remix of “You Give Love A Bad Name” ever. Or a mix incorporating a couple different cha-cha slides. I know that for some reason they’re required at weddings. I get it. But this is supposed to be a club.

You see how we’re reacting to Usher and Lady Gaga (excited smiles) and how we’re reacting to “Mickey” (stunned stares). Just give the people the hits of today. If you’re not going to be a clever or interesting deejay and comb stacks of records for deep tracks, you need to at least have the popular songs of today ready to go. All that you’re trying to do is make me dance, so I get thirsty, and drink more. Right? Not get ten or so people out of the … maybe thirty? people there two hours before closing time. It’s not good business.

You have no excuse in this day and age to be a bad deejay. I see you have a computer that mixes all your songs for you, you have access to any song in the world. Bring the fire.

We had fun, in spite of the bar, but boy, did we end up at Bobby’s Tap at the end of the night, even though it closes an hour earlier. Sometimes people play terrible music, but at least they’re paying to do so and not getting paid to do it.


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